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| well, i don't really know where to begin. i met this guy (donald) through an "old" friend of mine 4 years ago. in fact at the time, she was dating him and we became friends. he seemed like a great guy, caring and fun to hang with but the timing was wrong cause he was married. in fact, he was married when he was dating my friend, only i did not know that. after time (and with the marriage ending), we decided to become friends and started to hang out more and more. and through this divorce we grew closer and decided to date. he moved in and we started to live together. he was my best friend and we made plans for our future together. he even told my daughter that he loved her like his own kids. he has 5 kids by the way, sees none of them and owes out child support on the tens of thousands of dollars. he to this day still denys that some of his children are even his (even with proof of paternity). he claims he is a worker but during our relationship he was out of work for over 8 months and even when he returned to work he had to change his jobs until he found that one that he liked. he has even lost his drivers license several times cause he could not make his child support payments. i had to work to pay all the bills and even paid his child support and attorney fees to keep him out of trouble. our life was hard and he always was making me promises to make things right so i stayed. but after awhile things started to change. he kept me under his thumb "always" knowing where i was and what i was doing and even keeping tabs of who i talked to and hung out with. i started to live in a prison. he started to change towards me and was always yelling and fighting with me. he even changed towards my daughter acting jealous of her. he was always grounding my daughter for every little thing. we were always being punished by him. then it started to get violent and one night he choked me in front of my daughter. i knew in my heart that things in our relationship weren't right and i was very afraid. with no wheels to escape, i was trapped. i worried everyday how he would come home- worried we would fight. worried and crying everyday, looking for a way to get out. then i met these neighbors, chris and adrienne, and we (don and i and chris and adrienne) became friends. i thought that adrienne was being kind to me because of our friendship but i was wrong. she wanted don. the two of them started cheating and i caught them. she was even telling don all types of lies about me to get us to break up. well, my loser ex- believed her so he left me for her after only knowing her for a month. now, here is where is gets messed up. after they were together, he started to call me again saying he made a mistake and wanted to get back with me. i, of course, believed him. he told me he wanted to marry me (something that we had talked about over the course of our relationship) and i fell hard again for him. i went back to him and only after a few weeks of being back together caught him cheating with her again. i left him for good this time and a few weeks ago adrienne emailed me to say that don put the ring on her finger and they are getting married 1-26-08. well, congrats for her but i know don and he is a born CHEATER. married or not he will cheat. he always has and always will. i know that he has cheated on all of his exs (and there are many). he has even slept with his brother's girlfriends. what a loser. i have not made any contact with him since the nasty emails. and, even though my heart is breaking over the end of this relationship, i know that me and my daughter are safe and in a much better place than where we were. i am out alot of money because of him and am in debt bad. but i will survive. i wish him and adrienne the best because they definitely deserve each other. i just wish i knew how long it will take my heart to recover. even though, i know we were never meant to be forever it is still hard for me to handle. but telling my side of the story makes me feel better so thank goodness for this website. |
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| First of all, congrats on getting out of the relationship. But I do have to ask, knowing what you did and the debt he was in why did you ever get involved?
Sorry I ask that question a lot from women and really want to know. I may write a book one day if I ever figure out why nice intelligent women fall for the losers of the world.
This guy should have never had the pleasure of knowing your company. I can tell you and other women, there are two types of guys. The honest and the deadbeats. We don't change and never will. If you meet us and we are deadbeats, we will forever be that way and you can't change it.
Please, check the guy out before you commit to him or else you will have a miserable relationship. |
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| i did not realize the debt he was in until i was in too deep. i tried to get out and i ended up losing alot in the end. he was a good talker and he can sure sweet talk a girl's heart into his hands. this is why i feel sooo very stupid. i thought i could fix him. and i did for somebody else. thanks for the comment. keep in touch. i want to know how your book comes along. |
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| Ok I'm really sorry about all that but, u are right, u are an idiot. (SORRY) But after he did that to you went back to him a second time? to me thats like begging to get hurt.
But you wised up in the end and I'm really happy that you dropped the deadbeat.Congratulations on moving on with your life it wont be easy, but its whats best. |
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| phillygirl, I hear that a lot from women who say they thought they could fix a guy. Speaking as a guy, it will never happen.
We will love ya, support ya and most of the time try to be faithful but guys are taught from other guys (it is dumb I know) to stand on our own and we never change. We may make baby steps, but the fact is guys really never will change once they are set in their ways. Unlike women we just don't know how or don't want too.
I am glad you saw the light. Don't give up on us men entirely though, trust me there are good ones out there. But remember if they have a habit you don't like, you either have to put up with it or break it off. I wish you luck |
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| The only ties you have to this man is emotional. Get control over your emotions. It sounds as if this guy does not care about anyone but himself, So you are sooooooooooo better off. You and your daughter need to put this episode behind you. Block the e-mail that his latest victim is sending you, they are only ment to disturbe you. One day he will not be the fist thing on your mind in the morning and the last thing on your mind at night. You will get over this and be a better stronger person for it. Learn the lesson. |
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on 2007-12-29 12:27:40 by Tetva |
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| Read my comments to Huh?, Didn't We Just Break Up. I made the comments today 1/7/08 It all applies to you too. get the books....get the help....it is a long read, what I wrote so get a cup of hot tea. Marmar |
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