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| my boyfriend of 14 months is hard to understand. we recently had a baby four months ago. we both wanted to wait to get married because we didn't see the point in getting married while i was pregnant. just because a baby was on the way shouldn't have been the reason why we got married. we should get married because we love eachother. now that the baby is here and our lives are getting more and more settled, i thought it was the perfect opportunity to finally set a date. to my surprise, his date is a lot further away than i had anticipated. he wants to wait another year, maybe even longer, before we tie the knot. and i just don't see the point in waiting anymore. i feel as though he knows that he doesn't want to marry me and is just putting off the date as long as he can without hurting me. if he loved me he would marry me already, right? |
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| Have you asked him why he is putting the wedding off? This would bother me to, especially if you just had a kid together. Maybe having a kid and marriage scares him because of the big responsibility. |
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| I would not push the issue. Give him time to adjust to his new life with the baby. If he dosen't come around, I would not waste my life waiting for him. |
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on 2007-06-27 18:45:39 by iggy |
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| I agree with you, two people should get married for love, not because they have a baby together. I would, (when the time was right) sit him down and ask him what is going on. I would remind him that you may love him, but you are not going to sit and beg him to marry you, because their are more fish in the sea. Dont sound desperate. Men hate a women who begs and is desperate!! You will be okay. :-) |
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| I agree with windycity..He needs to know that you are not going to wait forever. He knows you love him and he should consider himself lucky to have a family..and a girl that loves him. He should be reminded that, someone else can be a stepdad, if he doesn't want to be a full time one. |
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| I wouldn't push it but ask him why he doesn't want to get married. He's probably just scared of commitment. You know how guys are. ;) |
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| Something similar happened to me. I didn't want to hang around until my son got old enough to realize what was going on. For the sake of the child it is better to make a decision of "stay or go," early in the relationship! |
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| Looking at it from another prospective... he probably wasnt ready for you to get pregnant, in turn he wasnt ready for a child. A couple of weeks maybe a month passed before you two meet and got pregnant. Im sure he didnt expect that in such a short period of time. He needs time to adjust to the fact that he is a father now. Im sure he is still in shock over that one, then he might be ready for the role of a husband! GOOD LUCK WITH THAT!!! |
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| in response to pretty_muthafuka..........
it was a PLANNED pregnancy. just wanted to make that clear. there was no surprise, or shock to it at all. oh and thanks to everyone else who actually helped me. |
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| Damn pretty muthafuka..you are hard core. I think this man is a fool if he dosen't see what he has. One day she will find another love. He will wake up and realize he made a mistake, but it will be to late!! I have seen this happen over and over, Men don't realize that we can only take so much rejection and then it is to late. WE WON'T BE COMING BACK!!! |
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| Yes, if he loved you he would marry you. He would have already married you and would not have put it off again. Myself, I would not have a baby-move in till I got married, but that is just me, things do happen though, granted. I would give him an ultimatium & if he won't commit I would move on-sorry but you deserve not only a father to your child but a a husband too....good luck, hope everything works for the best. |
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