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| Here's the story, and every word of it is true. I met this man some 17 years ago, he was funny, charming and fat, in fact his street name was Fat Mike. I liked him and by spending so much time with him we fell in love. As for me I was a single mom with two young sons and earned a diecent living. My children went to summer camp and Fat Mike and I got real close, so close that when my children came home from summer camp I introduced them. You should never introduce your family to someone whom you don't know if their going to be around for long or to someone you just met. He was diffirent I thought. He got high and I knew that from the gate. We all did something, weed, cocaine, booze whatever. We lived in the hood and it was all good on a payday weekend. We were weekend substance abusers...during the week we worked 9 to 5 jobs, paid our bills and loved our families. Six months into the relationship Mike asked me to marry him and six months later we were wed in a beautiful church ceremony. One year and nine months later we had a child a true blessing. I wanted things to change he could not stop getting high...he went to rehab three times I belived he would make it. He stopped getting high long enough to pass the employee piss test. We both got better jobs, he couldn't stop getting high.. I wanted a better life... he couldn't stop getting high, not for me our child or his momma...or god...he could't stop getting high. Then I found out much later he stole from his employer, over 1 million dollars... he couldn't stop getting high. I moved to another state because of the danger, shame and the embarassment that he brought into our lives. He came there and found connects and couldn't stop getting high. He went to jail 4 times and the last time and each time I believed he gave his life to God and was coming home to be a better husban and father. The last time I could not believe him and filed for divorce just before he was to be released... I could not go througt another episode of the long suffering wife bull. So he said he understood and was going to prove to me that he was a changed man through God. I wanted a divorce so bad I paid for his legal fees. How bad did I want this. I could not go back to a life with him the way he was and he needed to know that I was serious. He gets release from prison and lives in his moms house. All the while calling me and telling me that he still loves me and trying to get me to come to him. I thought maybe he changed, maybe he did find God. Well what he found was a women he use to work with. The way I found out was hurtful and wrong. I call my son who is spending the Easter vacation with his grandmother and newly released inmate dad and he informs me his was inHe introduces her to our son, which is the first mistake... then he does not want to pay child support.. |
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| It sounds like you are hurting really bad. But there is a saying, " Sometimes when you think it is the worst thing that can happen, it turns out to be the best thing." So I know it hurts because you thought "just maybe he has changed", but try to focus on the good in your life. We always focus on the bad and get caught up in feeling sorry for ourselves. I do this myself all the time and I have to stop and think that I do have a lot to be thankful for. And deep in your heart you know that you should not go back with your ex. You are probably lonely like me and will put up with more than you should because you have not found anyone else to fill the gap. But be true to yourself..And do what is best for you. Good Luck!! |
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on 2007-07-08 00:23:48 by meme38 |
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| It sounds like you have been hurt and betrayed. I too have made a bad decision on marrying the wrong man and 17 years later I am still paying the price. This is a decision that I have paid over and over for. We have to move on and just realize we have to live with what has happened, but I would definately take the other girls advice on supervised visits. He will realize you are not playing and he needs to respect you and pay child support!! |
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| I am so sorry, this whole thing sounds very upsetting. I know someone who has dealt with a ex-husband who was bipolar and a big ass, I think they go hand in hand. Because of your ex's past, I would try to limit his visitation with his father. He should see his is dad, but I would make every excuse in the book to limit visitation. your son does not need that negative influence in his life. And for you, I would try to do anything to better yourself, I am on that path myself. Go back to school, get a higher education for a better job. Do better for your son. It will do wonder's for your life and your son. Good Luck!! |
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| You should consider yourself lucky that he is not in your life anymore. God did you a favor!! |
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| YES.. Be thankful..you don't have that drama anymore!! Start fresh with someone you can depend on and trust. |
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| oh my god, i so no how you feel. drugs have put my family through hell in ways i dont even wanna go into. the only advice i can really give you is protect your child from those life ruining mother effing drugs. im not sure if you can ever get your ex husband off of them but you can no doubt protect your baby from ever letting them wreck his/her life. i wish you the best. |
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| Thank the man upstairs, you got rid of this loser. |
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| I to had to deal with my bi-polar ex. He did not ever pay child support and it cost me more money paying an attorney to get my child support, so I eventually gave up. I did everything in my power to keep my son away from him, because when he would go into his deep depression, bipolar spells, I would be scared for my childs life. So if you can, get a court ordered attorney and get supervised visits. I did this until my son was old enough to take care of himself. |
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